CNY 2009

Another week to Lunar New Year and I am so excited over it, why?? Coz it also means that Shermaine will be born soon.

CNY this year will not be the same for me as per previous year coz I did not get myself any new clothing and shoes, etc, as it is just too close to the delivery date so I will put it all on “I own myself list” for next CNY.

Last weekend was known as the “washing day” have washed all Sherilyn and Papa’s New Year’s clothing, ironed and have also washed all Shermaine’s stuff; cloth diaper, mittens, booties, clothing all in preparation for her arrival. Have also decorated the house with CNY decorations, will be getting flowers this week, washing the corridor next weekend and setting up Shermaine’s bed, all as plan and in progress per schedule.

This year CNY is rather exciting for Papa and mummy in anticipation on the arrival of Shermaine. Papa’s idea birth date for Shermaine would be on 06 Feb 2009 but mummy’s prefer it to be on 02 Feb 2009 and what will Shermaine prefer her birth date to be?

Last Saturday we went to Dr Kowa’s clinic together with Sherilyn as always and we are able to see the face of Shermaine which look similar to how Sherilyn was when she was in mummy’s tummy. I can’t help and wonder will Shermaine has fair skin like her sister, Sherilyn or tan looking skin like Mummy? So many questions: when will she be born, will she look like me or papa, what is the colour of her skin, will she have straight hair like mummy, will she this and that, etc. I am just counting down to the days.

The arrival of my second child.

In another two or three weeks time I am expecting the birth of my second daughter. It is both tiring and exciting for me now. Tired as my tummy gets bigger and heavier, exciting as I can’t wait to see her!

The same promise which I have made to Sherilyn will be for her as well nothing more or less.

Mummy will never abandon you, will hold your hand and walk through the toughest moments of your life, and will be there for you when you needed me most, will shelter you through the darkest moment, a promise that mummy has given you from the day I knew you exist, my darling child.

Stepping into a New Year with new hope and new resolution!

It is going to a tough New Year for 2009 since 2008 has ended with a gloomy outlook and forecast. Practically everyday we are hearing news about retrenchment, wages cut, shorter work week, company going burst, further cut here and there, etc.

All negative news have filled our heart with fear, the fear of losing our jobs and a grey 2009.

With a gloomy economy; what will the future be for us in the next 12 months, this would be a million dollar question?

Nevertheless a New Year resolution is still a must in my personal view. It can't help much in the fear portion but it can help in keeping us motivating in bad times.

Resolution in 2009:-

1st quarter; FOCUS and balance between my new born and Sherilyn; on their well being and create a strong bonding between them.

2nd quarter; LOSE weight, targeting and aiming high; to lose 20 kg if possible, must try to work on it.

3rd quarter; REVIEW time; where I am now and how much more to go in order to achieve my target.

4th quarter; FAMILY; creating a new and better environment; make changes to little details.

Overall:

• Spend less and save more for raining days.
• Focus on family and the well being of my two daughters.
• Spend some quality time with hubby.
• Have a balance work life, family time and personal life.

Seeking for Peace and Quiet

Life has not been easy for me recently too many things have happened and now I only seek for peace and quiet and do not want to be bothered & disturb.

When it is over it is over, don’t pester and hang on
When things goes wrong, don’t finger point and blame others
When things goes wrong, it happen for a reason
When things happened, no point crying over spill milk
When a mind is set, it is set, no changes can be made

Learn from the mistake and move on
Be brave, do not look back and don’t even think of turning back the clock as it is too late
Do not hold on to the past, let it go in peace
Chances are not asked but given, don’t beg and don’t plead
Tears can wash away all sorrows and pains
Time heal all sorrows and pains
Leave the memories behind and don’t destroy what was left
Don’t pester, ponder and hang on when it is over
Stop dreaming and hoping when it is over it is over, get real
Face the reality bravely and be strong

What is the use of hanging on knowing that there is no future,
Why persist on a one sided affair knowing that it would not happen,
What is the use of persisting and wasting all the time knowing that will be no future,
When it is over it is over, don’t pester and destroy what is the remaining for a good memories,
How is the word that you should go on your life bravely, leave the past alone, leave the memories to rest, give peace and not war

Love is about sharing
Love is about giving
Love is about understanding
Love is about letting one go when there is no more love between two persons
Love is about allowing each other to find their own true happiness
Love is about give each other breathing space

Love is not a one sided traffic
Love is not about making or seeing another person suffer in pain
Love is not about insisting against other wish
Love is not suppose to be life threatening

Voicing out my concern.

My voice of concern; an article which I contributed to Straits Times on 23 July 2008.

Life is Like A Book

Life is like a book
A book full of words
A book full of pictures
A book full of colour
A book of life can be boring and interesting

If my life is like book it would be;
Full of words – words that can heal and kill
Full of pictures – a picture tells a thousand words
Full of colour – colour of my life would be red, yellow, purple, blue and black.

Words;
Words that can heal; would be pleasant to the ears
Words that can kill; would be hurting to the heart

Pictures of my life would be;
A clown that filled my life with laughter
The sun that warms my heart
The deep blue sea stir up my curiosity wondering what goes on beneath it.
A room full of people talking, gossiping, arguing, fighting, exchanging views,
A bird flying for its freedom seem relaxing to me.

Colour of my life would be;
Red for vibrate, energy, passion, dangerous,
Yellow for happy, cheerful, warm, lively
Purple for romantic, peace, calm, harmony
Blue for lost, worries, anxiety, cold
Black for sadness, mystery, sexy,

Motherly Figure?

If someone asked you “do you think she is beautiful, pretty or sexy” and you got the answer “she got a motherly figure maybe because she has given birth". Should I be happy or upset over such remark?

Motherly figure?? To me the question pose was asking about how I look meaning to said my appearances, your impression on the look and it is not about my personalities or characterizes. I got rather upset over such remark as the answers given was very irrelevant more like a generic answer towards entertaining that person asking the question and not being direct to the point not even to mention about sincerity.

It has never once come across my mind that I was beautiful, pretty or sexy but never ever have I think that I would have a “motherly figure”. I am very sure that I don't have the “to die for figure” but I cant image what a a motherly figure look like?

This really makes me very upset and keep me wondering, what have happened to me?? I must have look so FAT, UGLY and very OUT of SHAPE after given birth. Well at least there is one good thing, I have lots of love and care being a mother. This is rather weird for me, I am suppose to feel good, happy and proud about such remark but why am not feeling it instead I am feeling lousy and upset.

It is without a doubt that I am a mother now but I am still a woman after all. Which woman would not want to hear nice and beautiful words singing into their ears. All woman love the feeling of being pamper, appreciated, love, enjoy being admire, in every woman that has to be some vanity in us and it is only human nature to have such feelings, right?

Motherly Figure is just not what I am looking for as an answer! It is not me and it has never been in my dictionary under the category of look. Motherly Figure, what a vocabulary to use for describing me??? It is so upsetting for me.